(Moondance: Where are you hiding, Hiei? Hiei!)

(Mukuro: There he is, Moondance. Ooo, arent’t these knickes cute! )

(Hiei: ENSA…Mmm….!!!! )

(Kurama: Don’t be afraid, Hiei, I’ll be there with you.)

(Moondance: Kurama, you are not supposed to meet up with Hiei till after this scene!)

(Hiei: No Kurama, no play. )

(Moondance: Puny Koorime, do you think that your Jagan will work on me, the all-powerful fanfic writer!!!)

(Everyone sweated.)

(Moondance: But since you two are my favorites, I’ll make an exception. If Kurama can disguise himself effectively, he could go up there with you.)

(Kurama: The love I bear for my beloved Hiei would not allow me to fail…)

(Retching sounds.)

(Kurama: Elberath githonil, sliveren penna miril, al menal aglar alnath, githonil Elberath!! Inari-SAMA!!!)

(Moondance: You call this a DISGUISE???)

(Hiei: This will do. Else, no play.)

(Kurama: Don’t worry, Moondance-san. The audience will be far more interested in what we are doing than what we look like anyway.)

(Moondance: I don’t care, just go. Curtain up!!)

Act III

Scene I

The background was a bar/brothel. Clients and business girls laughing and dancing around, yet there was a hush of expectancy in the air. Suddenly, a figure cloaked in black appeared. Hiei stepped into the center stage. A spotlight illuminated him, casting everything else into pitch dark.

There was a time, I don’t know when. I didn’t have much time for men.

(Hiei paced about, executing katas with his katana, causing a fair amount of panic among the chorus members.)

But this is now — And that was then. I’m learning!

(He sheathed his katana, fixed the audience with a steady glare. Audience muffed tiny screams.)

A Koorime alone — all on his own. Must try to have a heart of stone.

(Kurama appeared from side stage in his Minamino Shuiichi guise, albeit with ears and tails. Hiei deliberately refused to look at him.)

So I try not to make in known, my yearning!

(Hiei twisted out from Kurama’s enfolding arms.)

I try to show I have not need. I really do — I don’t succeed.

(Kurama managed to trip Hiei up, and successfully pinned him down for a lingering kiss.)

(With a flung, Hiei threw off his black cloak, revealing a tight low-cut bodice with a tiny skirt in black and red. Lace garters and fishnet panty hoses were could be seen whenever he moved energetically.)

A little touch of sin, why wait another minute?

(Chorus members crowded up with their partners, dancing suggestively. Hiei executed a bump-and-grind against Kurama, who looked dazzled by this sudden display of boldness.)

Step this way, it’s time for us to play!

(Kurama’s tail slipped under Hiei’s short skirt.)

They say we may not pass this way again. SO LET’S WASTE NO MORE TIME. Bring on the men!

(Hiei wriggled his hips a bit, then flitted away, playing ‘catch’.)

(Coyly lifting up his already couldn’t be shorter skirt, Hiei allowed Kurama a further peek of his smooth thighs. Kurama swallowed heavily.)

(Teasingly, Hiei punched Kurama in the middle to fend off his pawing. Kurama doubled over in pain. )

So many men, so little time. I want them all, is that a crime?

No!

(Kurama’s weak ‘yes’ was drowned in chorus’ shout.)

I don’t know why they say that I’m too easy!

(Kurama: Easy?? Why don’t you just kill me?!?!)

They make me laugh — they make me cry. They make me sick — so God knows why.

(Kurama: Hiei, you are pregnant??? I’m going to be a daddy??? Hiei: Idiot!)

(With chorus) So let’s bring on the men and let the fun begin.

(Finally, Hiei relented and allowed Kurama to hold him again.)

A little touch of sin, why wait another minute?

(However, Kurama was swept away by a torrent of dancers who were Shuuichi fans under disguise, led by Kuwabara. )

Step this way, it’s time for us to play!

(Over-confident, Kuwabara did not notice that Hiei managed to get close to him under the cover of chorus members. )

They say we may not pass this way again. SO LET’S WASTE NO MORE TIME. Bring on the men!

(Katana flashing, Hiei curved a path through the Shuuichi fans, who ran from him as soon as they saw his expression, so no one was seriously hurt. )

They break your heart, they steal your soul.

(Kurama:Did I? I’m so sorry Hiei. I did? I’m so happy! )

Take you apart, and yet they somehow make you whole!

(Kurama was too happily weeping to comment. Hiei: Silly. Raising a hand, he wiped Kurama’s face lovingly.)

So what’s their game?

(Kurama: No game!)

I ‘spose a rose by any other name, the perfume and the PRICK’s the same.

(Hiei threw Kurama a leering look, then carried him in his arms. A millisecond later, both Kurama and Hiei were gone from the stage.)

(Interval music)

(Moondance: Where are you going?!?! Come back!!!!)

(Mukuro: Nevermind, Moondance. I’ve been understudying the next part of the song. I can finish it.)

(Moondance: You had?? Thankyou so much!! But…your face and costume…..)

(Mukuro: Have you got any problem with it?

(Moondance: N…no…no…Quick, the music interval is almost over!)

I like to have a man for breakfast each day…

(Several of Mukuro’s servants brought in a man-size silver platter, and set it in front of her. Everyone looked pale in the face.)

I’m very social and I like it that way!

(Yusuke: Remind me never to visit her in the morning.)

By late mid-morning I need something to munch…

(Mukuro smacked her lips, and looked directly into the side curtains. Everyone turned green.)

So I ask over two men for lunch!

(Kuwabara&Yusuke: We are not going!!)

And men are mad about my afternoon teas…

(By now the male part of the audience caught up the idea, and started to gibber incoherently. The females, however, looked very pleased.)

They’re quite informal I just do it to please!

(Someone asked: Whom???)

Those triple sandwiches are my favorite ones.

(Yomi: Yeah, they are good. She sent me one made by fresh tripe the other day, delicious! Shura: How come I did not get a bite? )

I’m also very partial to bun/ms!

(Yomi: They should be exercised well before cooking with soya sauce. Karasue: You are a real gourmet, Yomi. Yomi: Kurama taught me well.)

My healthy appetite gets strongest at night.

(Shizuru: You get fat easily that way. Mukuro: I heard that!)

My at-home dinners are my men-friends delight!

(Yusuke: Mukuro does set a good table. Kuwabara: You ate…..Urrghhhh….Yusuke:Of course not. At least, I don’t think so. Well, eaten is eaten.)

When I invite the fellers over to dine, they all come early. An’we’re in bed by nine.

(Keiko: Yusuke…I can’t believe it…you and Mukuro….no, I’ll kill you!!!. Yusuke: I didn’t do it!!!! She’s talking about Yomi!! Shura: Daddy?!?! Yomi: Well, you’ll understand when you are older, my son…)

(All) Big men, small men, short men, tall men, I guess that means almost all men! I’m a player long as they are Men!!

(Curtain falls)