When at five o'clock on Sunday morning the alarm
sounded, Dan and Liliana were already snuggled close
together. They had just made love, and Dan was pressed
against her back with his arms around her. Lying
quietly with their legs and bodies entwined, he could
feel the Cosmic energy that flowed between them
generating the strength that each would need in order to
face what lay ahead. "As you go through today, and all
of the next few days, just keep in mind that I love you,
Liliana," he whispered and kissed her shoulders.
"Oh, Dan, you, too," she said softly. "When you're
confronting Rita and Carlo, just remember that I love
you and keep thinking about that little college campus
that we made up," she said and squeezed his hand. "Do
you ever pray?"
"Sometimes," he replied.
"Will you pray now?" she asked. "Will you pray
that God makes our path easy and safe?"
"God, please make our paths easy and safe," he
whispered, and Liliana rolled over to face me. Drawing
her close to him, he kissed her mouth, her eyes and her
cheeks, then they both slipped out of bed to shower and dress.
They ate a quick breakfast of coffee and rolls on
the deck and Dan accompanied Liliana to her car.
Stopping at the door to the hut, he took her in his
arms. "I'll say goodbye to you now. When you come back
you'll have Juliana with you, then we'll be in the
airport, and you'll be in your disguise. I love you,
Liliana, and I pray that God makes your path easy and
safe," he said and kissed her. "Please take this
money." Dan pressed an envelope containing two thousand
dollars in green into her hand
"I love you, darling, and I pray that God makes
your path easy and safe," she said. "Thank you." She
took the envelope, then turned to open the door and run
to her car.
Two hours later Liliana returned to the hut in a
taxi with Juliana. Dan sent his driver, Abukar, to look
for another taxi which they would use to take Liliana
and Juliana to the airport. Dan did not want to run the
risk of anyone seeing the two of them getting out of his
more conspicuous car and passing word to Carlo that
Liliana and Juliana were in the airport.
Taking the two of them into the bedroom, Dan opened
a package and removed two black, ankle length, shrouds
that were used as veils by the women of a very conservative Muslim sect which lives in Mogadishu.
"Let me look at you for the last time," he said, and
handed the larger one to Liliana. He wanted to take her
in his arms and hold her, but with Juliana standing
beside them, he simply smiled and looked into her green
eyes and winked at her. "Are you going to be all
right?"
She looked at him and smiled, but Dan could see the
tension in her face. "Yes, I'm okay," she replied and
slipped the shroud over her head. Pushing her arms,
covered by a long sleeved blouse, through slits in the
sides, she adjusted the shroud so she could see out
through the mesh of fine silk gauze sewn into the hood
so that it covered the area over the top part of the
face.
"How do I look?" she said from under the shroud.
"Like a little ghost," he said and laughed.
"I actually like it," she said. "It gives me some
kind of false sense of security knowing that people
can't see me and know how scared I am."
Speaking in Italian, Liliana joked and played with
Juliana so that in just a matter of minutes the child
wanted to put the smaller garment on and be just like
her mommy. Liliana slipped the shroud over Juliana's
head, adjusted the hood so the child could see, then took her by the hand to stand in front of a mirror.
Juliana was thrilled by this game of "dress up," and the
two of them could not in any way be distinguished from
any of the other Muslim women who travel in head-to-toe
veils.
Abukar had returned. Dan followed Liliana and the
child out of the hut, helped them into the back seat of
the taxi, then walked to his own car. The taxi turned
around and drove down Lido Road and Dan followed in his
car past the French Embassy, the Anglo-American Club and
finally the Italian Club. He wondered what Liliana was
thinking as she made this lonely trip through the
crowded noisy streets.
From the time they turned off the Afgoi Highway on
to Airport Road there were combat equipped soldiers
dressed in camouflage fatigues stationed every twenty
feet, and the entrance to the airport was crawling with
khaki clad policemen and soldiers with Uzi style sub-
machine guns slung over their shoulders.
The taxi rolled to a stop at the curb in front of
the airport. Abukar pulled Dan's car up just beyond the
taxi. Dan climbed out, walked to the entrance, and
waited while Liliana paid the driver. Dan turned and
walked several paces ahead of her while she, with
Juliana in hand, followed him through the crowd, across the main lobby, and up the stairs to the entrance of the
VIP lounge. The president had already arrived, and a
police Major was on duty to control access to the
lounge. Dan stopped at the doorway, and Liliana stood
just behind him as though waiting to pass through after
he had been admitted.
General Ossman, dressed in a crisp, starched cotton
khaki uniform and carrying a swagger stick under his arm
spotted Dan. Aden walked out of the lounge, and taking
Liliana by the arm he accompanied her and Juliana past
the Major to a row of chairs along the wall where
several other veiled women were seated.
Dan circulated through the lounge, paid his
respects to the President and other government
officials, then waited until Abdi Karim, the American
Embassy expediter, brought him the passports and
boarding passes for Liliana and Juliana. Dan took the
documents to General Ossman who delivered them to
Liliana then he walked to the entrance where he stopped
and turned to look at Liliana. Touching one finger to
his lips, he blew a secret kiss to her before leaving to
go back to his car.
Everything is in God's hands, Dan thought, as the
car pulled through the gate onto the ramp where an army
band marched to patriotic music. Stopping in front of the airport building Dan got out of the car and walked
into the shade to stand alone, watch the band and await
the arrival of the Alitalia DC-8. The MIGs roared
overhead in several high speed, low level fly-bys in
echelon formations of four aircraft, before finally
starting their tactical fighter plane approaches and
landings. Just about fifteen minutes after the last MIG
had landed Dan heard the high-pitched whine of the DC-8
coming in low over the sea. It turned to fly downwind,
banked again on to its final approach, then touched
down, right on schedule. The engines roared as the
pilot reversed the thrust then the plane turned to taxi
back and park beside the two blue and white Somali
Airlines Viscounts.
Dan got back in the car and rode across the apron
to park beside the front of the DC-8. Rita was the
first person out when the door was opened, and Dan
climbed out of the car to meet her as she came down the
stairs.
As usual Rita did not look as though she had spent
the night travelling. She was wearing a smart looking,
navy blue linen suit over a white silk blouse, and her
hair was combed in a new pageboy style that made her
appear younger than her fifty three years. To Dan's
surprise he did not smell gin or vodka on her breath when she pecked a kiss on his cheek before handing her
passport and tickets to the expediter.
Abdi looked at Dan with a questioning look on his
face. "Do as I told you, Abdi, and make sure that all
of Mrs. Thornton's luggage get's back on the plane," he
said, and took Rita by the arm to lead her to the car.
"What are you talking about, Dan?" Rita asked.
"Please get in the car, Rita, and we'll talk," he
said, and looked toward the rear of the aircraft to see
Carlo Brancusi striding toward him. Dan pushed Rita
gently inside the car and told Abukar to close the door,
then walked to meet Carlo. He could feel a rush of
adrenalin when Carlo stopped in front of him, legs
spread, arms cocked and his hands clenched into fists.
Dan had no idea what to expect from him.
"I want to talk to you, Mr. Ambassador," Carlo said
with a sarcastic emphasis on the Mr. Ambassador.
"I want to talk to you, too, Carlo," Dan said in a
clear, forceful tone of voice. Dan felt his own hands
clenching into fists. "I'll be in my office right after
this plane leaves."
Dan sensed that Carlo had no intention of attacking
him and he turned to walk back to the car where Abukar
was watching with wide-eyes at the drama of what he knew
was a confrontation between Dan and Liliana's husband. Dan did not look back, and slipped into the car beside
Rita. His heart was pounding and he could feel the
perspiration in the palms of his hands.
"Who was that man?" Rita asked.
"That was the man who caused you so much
humiliation and embarrassment on the seventh floor of
the State Department," Dan said and told Abukar to pull
the car over in the shade in front of the airport.
Rita turned to look out the window at Carlo who was
striding across the tarmac toward the gate. "What's
going on here, Dan?" she asked. "Why are we stopping
here and why did you tell the expediter to make sure my
luggage got back on the plane?"
"Because you're going to get back on that plane,
Rita," Dan said and asked Abukar to leave them alone.
"What are you talking about? I'm not getting back
on any plane. Have you gone crazy?"
"Maybe," Dan said, "but I don't think so."
"Well you're crazy if you think I'm getting back on
that plane," she said and folded her arms over her chest
in a defiant pose.
"Rita, listen to me. There is nothing to talk
about here in Mogadishu. I've submitted my resignation.
It's in a letter that's going out in the pouch on this
very flight, and I'm sending a cable to Washington this afternoon telling them the same thing. Moreover, there
is a coup coming down in this country, and we don't know
what's going to happen."
"If you think you can bluff me with threats of a
coup you really are crazy, Dan," she said.
"I'm not bluffing, Rita. In fact, it will just be
by the grace of God if that plane takes off before
something happens. I would have cabled you or called
you but I knew it wouldn't do any good," he said. "Are
you ready to listen to reason?"
"What is reason? What about the damned letter that
man sent saying you're having a love affair with his
wife? Are you having a love affair?" she asked, and Dan
could tell from the tone of her voice that she was
softening.
"I told you on the telephone that it was nonsense
and that I was not having a love affair with anybody,"
Dan said, and used the same mental gymnastics, the
semantic difference between "love affair" and "in love
with," to justify his lie.
"Jesus, this is crazy sitting here in this damned
heat talking this way," she said and looked out the
window. "Dan, I don't know what to do. I know that I
have not been a good wife and companion to you since we
came out here. I've let you down. I've been very selfish and I'm sorry."
"Rita there is really nothing to talk about out
here in Mogadishu. In a month or two I'll be back in
Washington, and we can talk all you want, but now I want
you to realize that you have to get back on that plane
to Rome and where ever else you want to go."
She turned to look at him. "Look me in the eyes,
Dan," she said.
He turned to look at her eyes.
"Are you sure you're not having a love affair with
this woman Liliana?" she asked.
"I swear to you, I am not having a love affair with
Liliana or anyone else," he said.
She continued to look him straight in the eye. "If
you're lying to me, Dan, I'm going to make you pay for
it, and I hope you're not lying because I love you and I
want to continue this marriage. I told you I'm sorry
for the way I've behaved out here, and I'll try and make
up for it. For one thing, I'll quit drinking so much.
I haven't had a drink since I left Paris, but I can
guaranty you I'm going to have one when I leave here."
"Does that mean you've agreed to get on the plane?"
Dan asked.
"Yes, I'll go," she said. "Do I have to go inside
the airport?"
"I don't know. Let me talk to Abdi," Dan said and
opened the door to get out of the car. He walked to the
front of the car and talked to Abdi Karim who was
standing with Abukar. "Does Mrs. Thornton have to go
inside the airport? he asked.
"No sir," he replied and handed Dan Rita's passport
and boarding pass. "She can board the plane right now.
It will be leaving in just a few minutes."
"Take us out to the plane, Abukar," Dan said and
walked back to get in the car.
"You can board right now," Dan said and handed the
envelope to Rita as they drove back across the apron.
Abukar stopped, got out and opened the door for
Rita. Dan climbed out to walk around the car. "Thank
you for leaving, Rita. I'll see you in Washington," he
said and put his arms around her to kiss her.
"Dan, please accept my apologies. I meant it when
I told you I was sorry. We all make mistakes. If you
can forgive me, I can forgive you," she said.
"I forgive you, Rita," he said, then she turned to
climb the stairs to the plane.
Dan got back in the car and they drove again to
park in front of the airport building where the band was
still playing. He felt a tremendous sense of relief
when he saw a khaki-clad Somali policeman escorting two black shrouded women, one much taller than the other, to
the rear door of the plane. It was not long before the
other passengers were walking toward the plane and in
the crowd Dan saw Kurt Conrad and Dahaba.
Dan waited until the ground handlers pulled the
stairs away, then he watched while the engines were
started. The plane taxied to the end of the runway and
finally took off toward the sea then turned north toward
Addis and Rome.
The President and his entourage were walking across
the ramp toward the Somali Airlines Viscount when Dan
left to drive back to the embassy. He felt another wave
of relief that nothing had happened in the airport, but
he was anxious about his appointment with Carlo.
Riding back to the embassy Dan began to develop his
strategy of "plausible denyability" that he intended to
use with Carlo. Except for the letter from Antonio to
Marlisa that put Liliana and him on the beach together
at seven-thirty in the morning, all of Carlo's evidence,
in so far as Dan knew, was based on gossip and hearsay.
Walking on the beach with someone, he planned to tell
Carlo, does not put him or you in bed with that person.
Dan frequently walked on the beach early in the morning
- so did Liliana and a lot of other people. Dan had
seen Carlo walking on the beach with Marlisa di Paulo. Was Dan to assume from that little shard of truth that
Carlo was sleeping with Marlisa? Dan could say. If
Carlo had stayed here and given his wife some
companionship she wouldn't be on the beach at seven-thirty in the morning. Then, depending on the turn that
the conversation might take, Dan thought he could use
the tactic that an attack is frequently the best
defense. Dan could threaten Carlo with a lawsuit for
libel and defamation of character, but he had no
intention of following through on such a threat. He had
denied to Rita that he was having a love affair with
Liliana, and in his mind he had rationalized that little
transgression from truth with a semantic slight of hand.
There was a difference between "having a love affair"
and "being in love with someone" he told myself when he
looked into Rita's eyes and said "I swear to you, I am
not having a love affair with Liliana or anyone else."
Dan had not lost sight of the real truth, though. Even
with the tendency to lose perspective and an anchor to
reality in the isolation of Mogadishu, Dan knew that he
was a married man involved with a married woman, and
"plausible denyability," he thought, cannot be stretched
to the point of trying to fool myself.
They came to a stop in front of the embassy. Dan
climbed out of the car, entered the chancery, then stopped at the counter where behind bullet proof glass a
Marine Guard was on duty. "There will be a man named
Carlo Brancusi coming to the embassy to see me this
afternoon," Dan said to the Marine. "I want you to
shake him down, check him for weapons, and if he's
clean, you can bring him upstairs, but I want you to
wait outside with my secretary while I talk to him. If
you hear any trouble or scuffle inside, you come into my
office."
"Yes, sir," the marine said and saluted. "Do you
want me to call the Gunnie?"
"That sound's like a good idea. Tell the Gunnie to
be here to bring the man upstairs," Dan said and pushed
through the solenoid operated door to walk through an
airport style metal detector. Dan did not really expect
physical violence from Carlo, but the presence of a
Marine Gunnery Sergeant outside the office would be
intimidating, and after all, he mused, intimidation is
the name of the game.
When the telephone buzzed and Dan's secretary
informed him that "Mr. Brancusi is here to see you," Dan
decided to remain behind the desk when he entered. That
massive block of mahogany that would separate them was
also intimidating.
"Send him in," Dan said and did not stand up when the secretary escorted him inside the office.
Carlo sat in a chair opposite the desk and waited
until the secretary had closed the door before speaking.
"You must feel very powerful and important with all of
the marines surrounding you," Carlo said. "I'm sure
that Liliana was impressed by your trappings of power.
Liliana likes power and powerful men."
Carlo appeared calm; his voice was well modulated,
and, contrary to the stereotyped image of an emotional,
arm waving Italian, he seemed very much in control of
his emotions. If there was anything that Dan could
detect from the expression on his face, and the tone of
voice in the few words he had spoken, it was sadness.
Dan decided he would not respond to his disparaging
remarks about Liliana. He would not defend her. "I'm
not powerful Mr. Brancusi," Dan said. "I'm just like
any other man who works for a living, and I don't like
it when my livelihood is threatened. I did not like
your sending a letter to the Secretary of State on the
basis of what I don't know."
Carlo sat silently looking straight across the desk
at Dan for several minutes. "I don't have to explain to
you what my reasons were for sending that letter. I
don't owe you any explanations about anything. Suffice
it to say that I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that you and Liliana have been carrying on a shameless love
affair. Liliana is my wife and the mother of our
daughter, and you were wrong to go to bed with her, Mr.
Ambassador."
Carlo, Dan realized, had control of the
conversation, and he apparently knew more than Dan
thought he knew. Moreover, he had the truth on his
side. Carlo had succeeded in touching Dan's guilt, his
shame. "Since you are the one who asked for this
meeting, why don't you just get on with what it is you
want to say. Let's stop this fencing," Dan said.
Carlo again sat silent and staring at Dan for a
long time, and when he spoke again it was in a very
sure, measured tone. "Yes, I will get on with what I
came to say to you, Mr. Ambassador," Carlo said and
pulled a package of cigarettes from his pocket. "You
don't mind if I smoke, do you?"
"Not at all," Dan replied.
Carlo lit the cigarette, inhaled deeply then
continued in the same measured tone. "Liliana is what I
think in English you call a sociopath - she is amoral.
She doesn't know right from wrong, or if she does, her
behavior does not lead one to believe that she knows.
Liliana believes that she is entitled to what ever she
wants, when she wants it regardless of the consequences to herself or other people. She doesn't think about
other people, she can't think about other people. She
is too absorbed with herself - with what she wants. She
can't imagine that other people have wants and needs,"
he said, and paused again.
What Carlo was describing to Dan was a person with
acute narcissism - selfish, self-centeredness - and it
sounded more like he was describing Rita to Dan than he
was Liliana. Dan didn't know if Carlo expected him to
say something, so he remained silent until Carlo again
spoke in his soft, sad, monotone.
"A year or so ago Liliana was arrested for
shoplifting, Mr. Ambassador. She walked out of a very
exclusive boutique on the Via Veneto in Rome with an
expensive briefcase under her arm without bothering to
pay for it. She was followed, confronted, arrested and
taken to jail. Fortunately, because of my connections
in the Ministry of Justice, she was released, but the
judge ordered her to undergo some psychiatric
counseling. I went to a psychiatrist myself for a
while, and what I learned is that Liliana is not only a
self-absorbed sociopath, she is also a pathological
liar. Liliana would rather lie even when to tell the
truth would be easier." Carlo got out of the chair and
walked to the window to stare at the street below.
"Why are you telling me all this, Mr. Brancusi, and
why did you write that letter to the Secretary of State?
Why didn't you just come to me, as you have now done?"
Dan asked. "You have not only embarrassed me, you've
humiliated my wife."
Carlo turned and walked back to the desk. "You
sound like Liliana. You make it sound like I am guilty
for having exposed your and Liliana's disgusting
behavior," he said and dropped into the chair. "I told
you that I don't owe you any explanations about my
reasons for writing the letter, but I'll tell you
anyway. I wrote that letter to force Liliana into
seeing the consequences of her outrageous disregard for
other people," he said and ground his cigarette into the
ashtray. "I'm going to tell you something else, Mr.
Ambassador. You are not the first man with whom Liliana
has had a love affair. You are the most recent of a
succession of brief, but intense, romantic attachments
that Liliana has had. Just before we left Rome she was
with an airline captain. You may have noticed that
Liliana not only likes power, she likes excitement.
Aside from the excitement of having a love affair just
because it is socially unacceptable, Liliana likes to
drive fast. The airline pilot was an amateur race
driver, and he raced sports cars. Who could be more powerful than an airline captain, and who could be more
exciting than a race driver?"
Dan felt a wave of nausea pass over him, and he
knew that he was heading into shock. Dan had the
sensation that he was on an elevator that had just gone
into a free fall to infinity. He did not know how far
it was going to plunge before it crashed.
Dan wanted Carlo Brancusi to get out of his office
so that he could assimilate and try to grasp all that he
had just told him - so he could stop this plunge into
the dark night of his soul. "Is there anything else you
want to say, or are you finished?" Dan asked. He was
surprised by how calm his voice sounded. He had the
sensation that he had left his body. Someone else was
talking, and Dan was listening.
"I'm almost finished, but there are a few more
things I want to say," Carlo said and lit another
cigarette. "If after all that I have told you about
Liliana, you still want her, you are welcome to take
her, but if you have any illusions about taking my
daughter Juliana to the United States, you had better
forget them. I will never allow Liliana to take Juliana
out of Italy, and she can't take her without my
permission," he said and stood up. "I don't know what
you expected today, Mr. Ambassador, but I have said all I came to say. At the airport you said you wanted to
see me. Do you have anything you want to say now?"
"No," Dan replied. "I have nothing I want to say."
Carlo turned and left the office. He pulled the
door closed behind him and the elevator on which Dan had
been plummeting crashed. Dan felt like the victim in an
Aztec sacrificial rite. His breast had been slashed
open with a dull stone knife, and his heart ripped out
of him. His chest was an empty gaping hole, and his
soul had left his body. Then, Dan had a vision of
Liliana and him in bed together just after the first
time they made love. The vision was so clear that Dan
felt like he was standing outside his body in time and
space watching the scene as a disinterested observer.
"I'm fortyİone years old. You are the second man in my
life with whom I have made love, and that was the first
orgasm I have ever had. I swear, it is God's truth,"
she had said.
"I believe you, and that may explain your passion
for highİspeed driving and other little compulsions that
you must have," Dan had replied.
Dan got up from behind the desk and walked to look
out the window. He wanted desperately to be away from
that moment, away from the pain, away from himself.
Somebody is lying, he thought. Either Liliana was lying or Carlo is lying, and it is not just a little
semantic slight of hand. Then, he saw himself sitting
in the car beside Rita saying "I swear to you, I am not
having a love affair with Liliana or anyone else." Dan
realized how easily the lie had slipped through his
lips, and he hated himself. But Liliana did not have to
tell Dan the lie. She did not have to exaggerate and
say that she had never before had an orgasm, nor did she
have to say that Dan was only the second man with whom
she had ever made love. Then Dan heard Carlo saying
"Liliana would rather lie even when to tell the truth
would be easier."
At some very profound level of his being Dan
understood more than ever before that trust is the
fundamental underpinning of love, and that without trust
there can be no love. Dan wondered if Carlo could be
clever enough to know that even more than telling Dan of
Liliana's past mistakes, other men, and shoplifting, the
one sure way of eroding his trust in Liliana, and hence
his love for her, was to convince Dan that she was a
liar. "Love is all truth, Lust full of forged lies,"
Dan said out loud to himself, recalling a quote from
Pete's "Love is...." manuscript.
Dan drafted a short cable to Washington saying that
for personal reasons he wished to resign as Ambassador, and he asked to be relieved of his duties as soon as it
was convenient. At the same time he applied for
retirement, then left the embassy early to go to the
beach hut. Dan wanted to be alone to let the impact of
all of the day's events seep into him.
