|
|
The Ultimate RevengeFic
By James King <jking@accglobal.net> and Rob Kelk <robert.kelk@pemail.net>
With apologies to Robert A. Heinlein, Rumiko Takahashi, CLAMP, Hiroki Hayashi, Hideaki Anno and Naoko Takeuchi
The new Circle (The old Circle having gotten themselves collectively obliterated through utter stupidity) stood facing the group of shadowy figures. They had felt that this was too important to leave to the Corps in general, though they were regretting it... Many of the shadows wore maniacal grins, especially the ones Ranma had taken to calling the Citrus Brigade.
The Circle stood facing the shadows, and the Circle's leader stepped forward. A young woman, with red hair pulled back in a braid. She was somewhat wet, and glaring angrily at one of the Citrus Brigade. "I am Ranma Saotome, and I announce the intentions of the Circle to stop your rampage. You, the Fanfickers, the most insidious of the Authors. Circle, step forward in sequence."
Another young woman, with similar hair to Ranma's, and wearing armour stepped forward. Ranma announced her. "Hikaru Shidou."
Three identical young men stepped forward. "Tenchi Masaki, Tenchi Masaki, and Tenchi Masaki."
A timid young man. "Shinji Ikari."
Finally a young woman with long blonde pigtails stepped forward, and tripped over her hair. "And Usagi Tsukino..."
One of the Fanfickers stepped forward. "You fools! You took me out of my home reality and put me into this one! That makes this a self-insertion fanfic, and so I _cannot_ _be_ _destroyed_!!! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..."
(Another fanficker whispered, "Gak! He's worse than the original Jinnai...")
"Now that I'm in this story, I can do anything!" The first fanficker smiled suggestively at the Circle, and Hikaru and Usagi swonned. "That takes care of the distaff members of your little group..."
Other fanfickers started to advance on the first one: "Hey, you! No _way_ are you going to put the moves on Usagi! She's _my_ girl!"
"No, she's mine!"
"No, mine!"
"I don't care about her, but leave Hikaru alone!"
"Don't _you_ go after my Hikaru too!"
"I would date them both!!"
"Me too!!!"
Soon the air was filled with overly-powerful chi blasts, mecha attacks, flying swords, psychic blasts, and rabid cabbits and totoros. The Circle looked at the carnage taking place before them. Tenchi muttered to Tenchi, "You were right - put enough of them in the same room, and they do end up destroying each other."
