Julia: Before we start, I'd like to point out that this fanfic was
*donated* to us by the author, obviously a *REAL LIFE MASOCHIST*. Come
a little closer, dearie.. [cracks whip] Do you hear me, you WORM! .. DID I SAY YOU COULD TALK?
Kristi: mwahhaha...
Before you read, I based this story on a touching Fiona Apple song I have listened to all day.
Julia: [coughs] all day? ALL day?
Kristi: She's been a bad bad girl...
Here are the lyrics:
Kristi: nooo stop.. don't pleeease...
Darling, give me your absence tonight
Julia: That's all i needed to hear. [gets up to go]
Take the shade from the canvas and leave me the white
Let me sink in the silence that echoes inside
And don't bother leaving the light on
Julia: [sits back down and sings] you can leave your hat on..
Cuz I suddenly feel like a different person
From the roots of my soul come a gentle coercion
And I ran my hand o'er a strange inversion
A vacancy that just did not belong
The child is gone
Kristi: Where did it go?
Honey help me out of this mess
I'm a stranger to myself
But don't reach for me, I'm too far away
I don't wanna talk because there's nothin left to say
So my darlin give me your absence
Take all of your sympathy and leave it outside
There's no kinda lovin that would make this all right
I'm tryin to find a place I belong
And I suddenly feel like a different person
From the roots of my soal come a gentle coercion
and I ran my hands o'er a strange inversion
As the darkness turns into the dawn
The child is gone
The child is gone
Julia: and on that note, it's time for a Fanfic.
kristi: ugh.
The Child is Gone
Kristi: we know.
Billy Corgan: [sings] She knows, she knows, she knows. She knows, she knows, she know-ohhhs, and she knows. And she knows, and she knows..
Usagi lifted the camera up and put it on its tripod. "Chibi-usa! Mamoru-chan! Smile!" She yelled as she pressed a button then instantly run to their side.
Julia: [sings] You better run for your life if you can, little girl, hide your head in the sand, little girl, catch you with another man, that's the end. Little girl.
Kristi: that sounds familiar.
The light flashed, taking the picture. Mamoru walked over to the camera and put it away.
"Mommy! Can we have our picnic now?" Chibi-usa cried.
The Criminologist: NO PICNIC.
AP: aww...
Usagi looked up at Mamoru. She smiled.
Mamoru smiled back at her. "Well, Chibi-usa,
Usagi: You idiot! I'm not Chibiusa! [whack!]
we were planning on taking you someplace special for the picnic."
Mamoru: We're going to the state prison!
Chibi Usa: Yay!
Chibi-usa looked up, her eyes bright. "Where?!?!"
Hotaru: The circus!
Haruka: The racetrack!
Billy: The studio!
Julia: Rhode Island!
Michiru: *rhode island!?*
Julia: Yeah... :)
Kristi: rhode island. rhode island is a cute state.
Julia: You'll come visit, won't you?
Kristi: oh but of course!
"The beach," Usagi stated matter-of-factly, russling Chibi-usa's hair. "We're going to drive to the beach and have a picnic and then you can go swimming."
Kristi: how cancer-ish.
Michiru: [tosses hair]
Kristi: your a pisces! wow.
Makoto: i'm a Saggitarius!
Kristi: I'm saggitarius rising---- pisces in spirit
"Don't forget that tomorrow we have to go home, Chibi-usako." Mamoru laughed.
Julia: They're spending the night at the beach? Don't forget to bring a tent. And lots of safety equipment! [holds up SPF2000]
Kristi: CLAM BAKE! Now. Yan could you come out and tell us how to have a real clam bake?
Yan Can Cook: If Yan can cook so can you!
Kristi: very nice now. how do we bake clams?
Yan Can Cook: Throw the clams in the fire and when they're black it's time to eat.
Kristi: thank you!
Chibi-usa nodded sadly, then got up and ran to the car. "Mommy, Daddy, let's go." She honked the horn.
Julia: Honk.
Mamoru and Usagi climbed in the old convertible of Mamoru's and Mamoru pressed the pedal.
Kristi: whip lash... wooo...
"Mamoru-chan!! Don't press it so hard! You gave me a start! Chibi-usa, are you all right?"
Haurka: Goddamn it, Mamoru. How many times have I told you.
Kristi: Go speed haruka... Go speed haruka!- for some reason that doesn't sound quite as good as go speed racer.
Chibi-usa nodded, tugging at her seatbelt. "I'm fine..."
Kristi: Break for moose. uh... yeah.
Usagi smiled at her. "All right. Don't worry now, we'll make it there fine." She assured her. Mamoru started the car again, this time going slowly.
Kristi: chitty chitty bang bang...
Julia: That was forshadowing. I just know it.
Mamoru's eyes drifted down to Usagi. He looked at the wedding ring on her finger. After they had both graduated from college, they had married. They had had a little trouble explaining Chibi-usa,
Kristi: that little brat is soo hard to explain. How do you explain the pink hair?
Flamigo: too much shrimp.
Julia: [mixing paint] Duuuuh, Kristi. Usagi is blonde and Mamoru's hair is black. And since black is the dominant gene, and *everybody* knows the moon turns pink on the night of the Magical Pink Moon in pony land --
Caitlin: Pony...!
Julia: .. And because yellow plus black is really green, and the moon is made of green cheese on all the other nights, and because Chibiusa was actually born in June on the night of the Magical Pink Moon... [holds out dripping paintbrush full of pink paint] .. voila.
Ms. Demme: o dear... i don't remember covering *that* on the colour wheel.
Kristi: julia you are amazing!
Julia: [tips beret] Merci beaucoup.
seeing as how there was no baby or Usagi was never pregnant. But now she was.
He look admiringly at her swelled stomach; there was life in there. Kicking, struggling, ready to be born.
Julia: [with stethescope] In about three months.
Usagi: My little spore.
Kristi: spore. heh. spore.
Usagi adored her stomach, she was so proud of it.
Fabienne: if i had a tummy i'd wear tight shirts to accentuate it.
Butch: You have a tummy.
Fabienne: no i have a stomach- not a tummy.
Jules: mother fucker- go get a foot massage.
Julia: 'Scuze me.. are you a pisces?
Japanese Piscean Policeman: Now no more of that, or.. you'll be polishing my boots with your tounge...!
Julia: *ooh*!
Kristi: i think you'd like that too much... :)
She really wanted to actually have a baby on earth.
Batz Maru, Space Avenger: no no... you *must* have it on the moon!
She didn't want to wait the entire 9 months, she was so excited. They hadn't found that it was a boy or girl yet, but they decided to name is something that would reflect its personality.
Kristi: name it Drool. I mean- do babies actually have a personality at birth.. they cry and whine and slobber. It's just like having a puppy!
Julia: What a stupid strategy, Usagi. Its personality? That's awful. Think what *your* name would be. Mine would be.. like.. Random-ness. or Swish. or .. uhh..
Kristi: swish.. i like that. :) Swish! Mine would be.... um... Silly.
He watched Usagi rub her hand over her stomach.
"I love you, Mamo-chan." She said, noticing he was looking at her stomach.
Julia: I love you I would date with you...!
Garth: [to girl at donut shop] I love you, dream woman..
Stacy's Drunk Ex-Boyfriend: Staaaaayyyyy-ceeeeee... I looooooove youuuuu...
"If you didn't love me, that obviously wouldn't be there," he joked.
Kristi: that was dumb. I bet it still would... I mean... what ever happen to saturday night?
Julia: [sings] Hot patootie, bless my soul.. I really love that rock and roll..
MeatLoaf: Would this be your white plastic belt?
Julia: Well, I never! [snatches belt back, but stops singing]
She smirked a strange smile. "I can't wait, there's only 3 months left."
Chibi-usa's ears perked up. She hated to hear them talk about the new baby; she was so afraid she'd soon be ignored. She definately had to get rid of it somehow.
Kristi: o my.. Chibi Usa has MURDER on the mind!
Chibi Usa: REDRUM! REDRUM!
Jack: I'm not gonna hurt ya wendy.... i'm not gonna hurtcha... i'm just gonna bash your fucking skull in...
Kristi: that could stain...
Suddenly there was a loud siren.
Inner Senshi: [whiiiiir! big ass senshi mobile pulls behind them]
Michiru: Lookout, it's the Outer Senshi Date Patrol again.
Minako: and the inner senshi date patrol...
Rei: Pull your vehicle over- you are an unauthorized couple! Usagi! You shoes do *not* match your dress...
Makoto: well... this isn't shallow or nothing.
Mamoru, Usagi, and Chibi-usa looked back to see a police car chasing a beat up station wagon. The station wagon was goign atleast 100 something mph, that was sure.
Wagon: mph! MPH!!!
Police Car: Here comes the beat down, beat up station wagon! Grr!
It was also swirving madly
Julia: [sings] I love you madly, madly, madame librarian, Marion. Heaven help us, if the library caught on fire.. and a volunteer hose brigade'sman, had to whisper the news to Maaaaaaarion.. Madame libraaaaaaarian.. [blushes] Sorry.
about as if the driver were drunk.
"Pull over the car, baby!" Usagi yelled.
Julia: Yeah baby yeah.
Mamoru did as he was instructed.
Julia: [cracks whip] Damn straight he did.
Rocky: oh! julia... so dominate.... you must be so proud of her janet...
Janet: why yes... yes i am.. :)
Kristi: erk... yeah... ..
Julia: [blushes, hiding whip behind her back] Uhh.. Not really.. honest..!
Usagi was afraid, she grabbed at her stomach. "Please go past us.." she pleaded.
The station wagon, in order to avoid the policed, swerved around and rammed into Mamoru's convertible, totalling it.
Julia: I'm sure that was an effective mode of escape.
Kristi: the station driver must have gotten his method of escape from hodini!
Unicron: Your bargaining posture is highly dubious!
Usagi first felt the car she was in shake, and then she watched it, as if it were in slow motion, through the windsheild as it swerved totally around the car, over to Usagi's side, and rammed in right beside her. She felt a ripping pain from her stomach down to her legs, but made no sound, and heard a painful groan escape Mamoru's lips. Chibi-usa was only shaken, not hit and she cried at all the blood.
Kyoko: blood... BLOOD stoppit. nooo...
Tetsuo: Huh? .. Stop it? Stop WHAT? .. uh, wait!!!
Usagi's whole front area looked red, and half of Mamoru's side did. The police swerved in beside them and immediately called the ambulance.
Kristi: quick! what's the number for 911?
Julia: Uhh... uhhhhh.. [flips through phone book] .. I X I I.
The ekg system beeped in Usagi's ears.
Julia: Well.. ekg you too!
Hotaru: What's EKG mean?
Michiru: You know, Hotaru-chan, I haven't got any idea.
Haruka: Egg... killing.. goat..
Billy Corgan: Estimated Kickass Gear?
Julia: No, wait, I've got it.. European .. uh.. Kool-Aid.. Guesstimate.
Billy: [raises eyebrows] In*deed*.
She strained to open her eyes. When she looked down everything was blurry. The whole hospital room was white, only she could see the black hair of Mamoru laying in the bed beside her, and in a chair infront of her the bright pink of the hair of Chibi-usa.
Julia: [with palette] Pink plus black equals.. [smear, mix, splatter].. moldy grapefruit!
Kristi: yum yum.
"Chibi-usa?" She saw the pinkness turn to her but before it came to her a hand touched her cheek.
"Close your eyes, you haven't regained your strength from the blood transfusion yet."
"Blood transfusion..?" Usagi started, just then a door opened and a man whispered.
Vampire Princess Kristi: blood... mm...
Deacon Frost: Yum.
Julia: [sings] blood transfusion.. much confusion... disillusion.. from contusion..
Billy: You're pushing it.
Julia: [sigh] I know. Oh, wait. [puts on dark gold eyeliner, messes up hair, sings] Don't worry baby.. It's gonna be allright.. oh, don't worry baby.. we'll stay up all night.. push it! Nrr-nrr-nrr-nrr-nr-nr-nrrrrrr-nrr...
"Did you tell her yet?"
Doctor: Usagi... i'm sorry.. but we had to surgically remove your meatballs.
Usagi: Nooo!!! how could you!
Mamoru: i can't call you meatball head anymore....
"No!" The nurse snapped. At this Usagi lost it.
"TELL ME! TELL ME EVERYTHING! How is Mamoru? Is Chibi-usa safe? Was the driver put in jail..?" Usagi hesitated... "How is my baby?!!!!!!!"
Julia: Kristi. You're getting a Hole cue here.
Kristi: huh?... o! [clears throught and pulls out red lipstick and guitar]... i want my baaaayaaaby... where is my baaaayaaaby... there is no miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilk there is no miiiiiiiiiilk! rose white rose red...
Everything was quiet.
Julia: [unplugs Kristi's guitar] :)
Kristi: YAAAAAAAAAAH! :)
Chibi-usa hmphed.
Chibi Usa: HMPH!
Julia: [making fun of Chibiusa] And then you pout: Mruuu..
"Your womb was literally destroyed in the wreck, Chibi-san."
Julia: Doesn't that mean, "miss small"? IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!?
Kristi: hehehehe...
"So..??!!"
"Your baby was killed."
"Ripped in half.." Chibi-usa added.
Kristi: o that's nice. great.
Everyone expected Usagi to break out into tears or start shouting or kicking or something, but she just sat there. It was as if her eyes were white, she stared straight ahead. No one knew what she was thinking, but that was only the starting part of the horror.
Julia: And then her head began to spin around, and..
Amelia: did she projectile vomit?!
Mamoru stiffly drove them home. It was a long silent drive. Even Chibi-usa stayed quiet.
Kristi: that's a first...
"Usako, please talk."
Julia: You can't make me!
Usagi just sat there, her eyes hadn't moved since they froze the first time.
Mamoru's grip tightened on the steering wheel. "USAGI! You haven't said a word since the hospital...you HAVE to say something...I...I...Command you!!"
Kristi: [lifts eyebrow] o dear... Usako is your little robot? she is isn't she? mamo-chan you controling beast!
Julia: He took my whip! the bastard..
Usagi's eyes stayed staring straight ahead, but also moved as she turned her head and looked at him. She stared that way for a while, then turned back forward.
At home, Usagi seemed to float straight to her bedroom. She sat in a chair and stared out the window, then looked down at the windowsill.
A small crack was in the wood. She ran her fingers over it and a tear slid down her cheek.
Julia: "I wish I knew what was wrong with me. I'm sorry I killed you, Chibi-usa, my little spore. I wish I would die. I suck. The moon locket is mocking me. it's MOCKING me, dammit!.. where's my fuckin' gun...!?"
Billy: [sings] Teeeeeear me apart...
She sat there for the rest of the running her fingers over the crack in the wood.
Mamoru walked in that night and began undressing for bed.
"Usagi you had a blood transfusion, you need to eat to live."
Vampire Princess Kristi: heh...
She ran her finger over the crack once more, an empty spot that did not belong there.
"How can I reach you, Usagi?"
Usagi: Sorry... i'm not home right now. please leave a message at the beep.
Chibi Usa: BEEP!
Julia: [sings] Hello, hello.. how can I reach you? Hello, hello hello? Are you out there?
Billy: Heh - what are you singing?
Julia: I don't know. It's on my Mystery Tape.
Usagi stared blankly at the crack. She just looked there.
Julia: Mamo-chan.. I had no idea you were running a drug operation.
Kristi: *gasp* Mamo-chan!
"Come to bed, Usagi."
Julia: [absolutely delighted at all the song opportunities, sings] I sat on the rug, biding my time, drinking her wine.. we talked until two, and then she said 'it's time for bed'. .. she told me she worked in the morning and started to laugh.. I told her I didn't and crawled off to sleep in the bath..
Billy: [joining in] And, when I awoke, I was alone - This bird had flown..
Michiru: Alright, guys, that's enough.
Julia: [mumbles] Isn't it good? Norwegian wood.
Kristi: norwegian blue?
Praline: this is an *ex*-parrot.
Julia: [jiggles parrot] No, it isn't!
Usagi sat there.
"Come to bed."
Usagi: NO. Now don't push it, Mamo-chan..
Julia: [touches up eyeliner, sings] This is the noise that keeps me awake, my head explodes and my body aches..! Nrr-nrr-nrr-nrr-nr-nr-nrrrr-nrr.. Don't worry baby.. It's gonna be allright..
Don't try to reach me, I'm too far away She thought.
Mamoru sighed and walked over to her, pulling a blanket over her. He then climbed in the bed and went to sleep.
The next morning Usagi was still there, she hadn't gone to sleep all night.
"I refuse to bring you breakfast, Usagi. You have to get up and eat."
Julia: Mamoru, you're such a jerk. Why don't you just.. sigh.. go downstairs, and, like.. watch the football game. Do you CARE? Your baby's DEAD, dumbass. Get it? DEAD. [bangs dead parrot against desk] This is an dead baby. It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it'd be pushing up the daisies! It's rung up the curtain and joined the choir invisible! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT.
Mamoru: Oh.. Well, I'd better replace it, then. [raises eyebrows]
Julia: [hits him with parrot] Can we get a new Mamo-chan? This one sucks.
Kristi: my... what an eccentric preformance. :)
Her fingers reached down and she pressed them to the crack.
Kristi: Usagi... you are a crack addict. i told you to stay away from it...
Julia: ha ha ha.. Man. That'll teach her to hang out with Melvin..
That afternoon Chibi-usa walked quietly into the room. "Mommy.." she started...
Usagi turned and gave her that blank stare that she had given Mamoru. Chibi usa was scared by her eyes.
Usagi: [blank stare] Your mommy's gone, little girl. The pod people will soon have you as well.
Kristi: OOoo! Peas in a Pod! Peas in a POD!
She almost ran out of the room.
Chibi Usa: Daddy! DADDY! the POD PEOPLE! Mommy said they're gonna get me!
Mamoru: that's right! If you don't eat all your brussel sprouts and onion liver then the pod people will possess you and there is nothing i will do to stop them!
Kristi: what a nice guy. sheesh.
"Mommy please give me a hug."
Usagi turned back to the window and pulled the blanket around her.
After a few days Usagi still hadn't eaten or talked or moved from that spot, Mamoru had come to believe that she hadn't slept either, so he had a doctor come and check on her. He said it was simple depression from the death of her baby, and if she didn't eat or sleep soon she would die by tomorrow, maybe the next day.
Mamoru instantly sent Chibi-usa to stay at Hotaru's house for the weekend.
Haruka: Sure, dump her on us..!
That night Mamoru walked to Usagi, crying. He lifted her finger away from the crack,
Julia: Don't blow my trip, baby...! [waves hands]
and turned her head towards his. He gently pulled off her shirt and shorts and underwear, and carried her to the bed, laying her down.
Stewardess: Welcome to Richmond, Virginia. Please secure your boarding passes.
Julia: Ew. Where did that come from? .. sometimes I surprise myself.
Sailor Mercury: Julia, that wasn't very virgoish.
Kristi: O so Usagi had a state in her pants to?! So it wasn't just the outer senshi!
He undressed and got in the bed with her.
Kristi: erm... are we going to have a gratuitous sex scene now or are we going to contiue with the dramatic depression?
Julia: That was a pretty strange way for him to react, don't you think?
Kristi: yes i do...
"Usagi please do something, I don't want for you to die."
He pulled her to him and kissed her for a long time, and fell asleep kissing her.
Usagi: mmph! mmmph! I can't breathe!
Usagi lifted her arm up and rubbed a finger over an imaginary hole.
Courtney Love: FUCK YOU! do i look like i'm imaginary to you? Bitch!
Kristi: [sings] i want my baaaaayaby where is my baaaaayaaby... who took my baaayaaaby...
She then reached town and touched Mamoru;
Julia: What was Mamoru doing in town? I thought he was at home in bed.
Kristi: he was getting blank stares from Usagi so he decided to visit... the corner...
Vince: heh... yeah..baby... yeah....
no, it was more like her arm fell down of weakness. She knew what was going to happen. For a moment she smiled softly, and then weakly shook Mamoru until he woke up. He looked at her and gasped. Her face was pale white. Her hair was limp and looked as if it had fallen out. Her stomach was thrashing with convulsions and her eyes were black and dry yet wet at the same time. She opened her mouth to speak.
"Usagi no!" Mamoru cried.
Usagi: It's true, Mamoru. You are now witnessing something no one else will ever see, because the discription is unforgivably vague and inaccurate.
"The child is gone."
Kristi: uh... that was weird... uhm... er