One Night
A spoofy NGE spamfic written as a response to Lurker's challenge
By Lawrence Chu
A Product of My Imagination

All characters created by Hideaki Anno.
All rights reserved.  Don't sue me, I'm broke.  All you people can
kill me after reading this, though...

***

After such an intense orgasm, she should have been panting heavily;
however, she lay unnaturally still, the rise and fall of a chest
filling with air curiously absent.

Shinji sighed.  "Rei, you could let out a LITTLE emotion..."

Rei twitched.  "Oh.  Shinji.  Oh.  Oh," she stated, emotionlessly.
She almost sounded like a really cheap phone sex operator where the
person on the other end of the line was a computer.  Wait a minute,
I forgot this was Rei.  Maybe Shinji WAS giving it to a computer.

He called out.  "Daaad!  Rei's not orgasming correctly again!"

A booming voice was heard from the top of the EVA cage.  "That's odd.
She was working fine with me before...oh, wait--did she sync with
EVA-00 again?"

"I think so..."  Shinji made little thinking poses while Rei opened
and closed her mouth like a fish (which was apparently her way of
orgasming).

"That's the problem, right there.  After synching with EVA, her
emotions get flatlined.  I'll fix that problem with Rei IV so that
she'll have regular emotions and therefore orgasm after sex, okay,
Shinji?"  Not to mention what Gendo was planning on doing with Rei
III's body after she died...maybe we shouldn't talk about it now.
Let's try that again after dinner, when I can make you spew it all
over the keyboard.

"Thanks, Dad!"  For once, Shinji felt happy to have Gendo for a
father.

***

After such an intense orgasm, she should have been panting heavily;
however, she lay unnaturally still, the rise and fall of a chest
filling with air curiously absent.

However, Misato wasn't dead.  She actually passed out long before
Kaji let out his load.  He just didn't realize it.  This was probably
because he was drunk, too.

Whatever happened, one thing was for sure: Andrew Huang would never
write this scene.  Maybe he will when he finishes up Jellydonut.

Nah, not likely.

***

After such an intense orgasm, she should have been panting heavily;
however, she lay unnaturally still, the rise and fall of a chest
filling with air curiously absent.

"Asuka-chan..." a voice whispered in her ear.

Asuka's heart suddenly snapped into place.  "Oi...Gott im Himmel, what
happened?"

"That was the best we've ever had.  I think your heart skipped a beat.
Or ten."

Asuka finally remembered.  "Did it come out on tape?"

"I think Kensuke captured all of it," the voice whispered back.

Sure enough, the "REC" light was still on in the camera.  The same
couldn't be said for Kensuke, whose nose was creating a large puddle
of blood on the floor.  It looked like the force of the blood spurt
was so strong that it flung him back a couple of yards.

"Wow," was the only word that Asuka could mutter.

"You were great, Asuka," the voice whispered.

"You too, Hikari," Asuka whispered back.

***

After such an intense orgasm, she should have been panting heavily;
however, she lay unnaturally still, the rise and fall of a chest
filling with air curiously absent.

"Ritsuko..."

"Yes, Toji?"

"I think doing it in the LCL was going a bit too far."

"That's okay.  I've always wondered what it was like to sync..."

Toji grinned lecherously.  "I just found out what it was like to...
sync."

If one looked at EVA-03 at the moment, he/she would notice that the
power cord was standing stiff.  Yes, that's sick.

***

Author's notes:

Okay, I had the idea for the first one running through my head for a
while now, but I wasn't sure how to go about doing it.  Then the
challenge came, and I decided, "what the hell."  It was actually
going to be just that first part in a spamfic called "Working all the
Bugs out" but a random writing spurt had me write the rest.

Blame Bastion for the idea of a reusable Rei (well, sorta--check out
"Fund Raiser"--really funny).  I think that and Jellydonut made me
wonder what Rei would be like if she had sex and kept in personality.

The second one was largely inspired by Jellydonut, Chapter 2.  You
know, the scene with Misato and Kaji in bed together...

The third one...well, call it a product of a deranged imagination.
Same goes with the fourth one.  Might as well leave you laughing or
with a sour taste in your mouth.

I was playing around with the idea of having a 19th Angel making
everybody orgasm at the same time but that seemed like too much.  It
was also too hard to write in.

This has been a Product of My Imagination
chu_bear@hotmail.com