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Professional Burnout:
I've Fallen and Can't Get Up
by Roz Fisher
It is the stuff inside us that sustains us; our faith, courage, values, patience or
stamina. It is who we are inside our heads and hearts that determine the quality of our
existence. Although most of us would agree about this we would also have to admit that we
do very little to take care of our internal angel. I go through a significant
re-evaluation of my life every few years; the last time was two years ago and then again
this year. When I do this life review it is usually because of some extraordinary stress I
am experiencing added by a precipitating event, like a landmark birthday and a new boss. This assessment generally leads to my setting new goals for myself or
deciding to make some life adjustments. This year I had to acknowledge that I felt some
incredible feelings of betrayal, cultural hurt and lack of appreciation surrounding the
work that I do. After determining the source of my anger, depression and general sense of
loss, I began to research what I could do, beyond taking some bottled happiness like
Prozac. I am not knocking Prozac because it is a good medical tool for treating illness.
Still, I wanted to create some peace and stillness within myself that could help me to
reclaim myself. Reclaim myself, that may sound strange, but I felt pulled in many
directions by my work commitments and the conflicting expectations of others, until I felt
as though I no longer belonged to me.
If you are experiencing some of the following
you may be experiencing burnout:
- Feeling overwhelmed by work
- Lack of initiative or the "old get
up and go,"
- Difficulty making decisions
- Irritability or tension
- Loss of sense of humor
- Over reacting to minor issues or
conflicts,
- Loss of temper or flying off the handle
- Low energy or chronic fatigue
- Unusually forgetful
- Working same amount or more, but getting
less done
- Chronic complaining.
So, having assessed the nature of the problem the next question was what should be done?
How could I regain a feeling of wholeness? Some of the strategies I discovered come from a
variety of sources like: Judith Bardwick's book on Plateauing, Stephen Covey's, Seven
Habits of Effective People, Succulent Wild Woman: Dancing With Your Wonderful Self! By
Sark, and Susan Taylor's, In the Spirit.
Internal Personal Change Strategies
Do some self-nurturing.
When was the last time you did something fun for yourself? Do you treat yourself as well
as you treat others? What makes you happy? When was the last time you did something that
makes you happy? Do it now! Give yourself a ten minute dance break in the middle of your
day, crank up a song you love and shake it up. Write yourself a love letter. Go get a
manicure. Buy yourself a bouquet or spend ten uninterrupted moments sitting in the shade
or sun contemplating a blade of grass.
Seek the spirit. If you
believe in God, pray for the right outcome. If you do not believe in God, please know he
believes in you and that you are unique and wonderful. If you can treasure a flower then
you must acknowledge the miracle of your xistence is no less beautiful, amazing and
special.
Meditate and spend quiet
moments listening to your inner voice. Tap your inner strength and joy. Like Ally McBeal,
from the television show of the same name, perhaps you need a theme song. Ally
McBeal chose the song, Tell Him. My song is: I Feel Good, by James Brown. One of my
girlfriends chose the song, Celebrate. The song has to be peppy, positive and something
that fits your vision of the person you want to be. So, pick a theme song and play it in
your head on a regular basis especially when you are feeling stressed, unappreciated and
low energy.
Write a personal vision statement.
We seldom write down what has meaning for us and evaluate our lives in terms of these
values. What are your goals? Write them down.
Develop a realistic action plan
to make your goals happen. Include a time line. Think what, when, why, and how. Give
yourself a small reward for each goal you accomplish.
Stand up for yourself, with yourself and others. Set limits on
your time and say no kindly, but firmly when people impose. Don't listen to negative
voices in your head. When you start replaying those old bad messages, say, "not
true" then replace it with a positive message. For instance I used to say: "I am
always late. Now I say I am usually on time" and guess what? It has become true.
External Personal Change Strategies
Change the environment creating
the stress. Start job hunting, or brainstorm with a friend or co-workers steps to improve
the work environment. Maybe you need to go back to school or update your certification to
make a job change. Do it.
Confront the problems
that are causing the stress directly. Maybe it is time to engage your boss or co-workers
in dialogue about the problem. We have the choice to; fuss and stay, fuss and change or
fuss and go and to do any derivative of the three. Don't create a trap for yourself by not
exploring your options
Seek or utilize a support network.
If you don't have one, create one by asking friends or family for assistance providing you
with encouragement or listening without criticism to your concerns. Perhaps, the services
of a professional counselor or therapist can help guide your self-exploration. Maybe
joining a professional association, church group, Co-dependents Anonymous or a women's
group like NCBW would help.
Outside Interests. Maybe
you are obsessing too much on the situation you are in; look outward. Maybe your needs can
not be met in your job, but there are reasons why you can't change your job. In such a
case perhaps your hobbies, volunteer work or a side business are ways to allow you to do
what you love without leaving your job.
I believe that professional burnout is rampant
in this society where the pace is fast, stress is a national pastime, sleep deprivation is
the norm and individual success is based on patriarchal, old world, standards. We need to
cherish ourselves and each other more, but failing that we need to lighten up on each
other and ourselves. It is only when we take care of ourselves, do what we love and get
what we need that we can effectively serve the needs of others. Success is really about
being happy, not title, money, position, or power. So, if you have fallen and can't seem
to get up, it is time for you to seek your bliss. |
 LOVE, SIX
DAYS A WEEK
For five years Carlton and I were long distance
lovers, titillating each other over phone lines and mail. We saw each Other one weekend
every three months and missed each other blissfully in between. Until one long Labor Day
weekend ended it. He arrived Friday, and Sunday he was feverishly trying to get an early
Labor Day flight back. I was cowering in shame in my bedroom, praying for an empty plane
seat, cowering because I, the Queen of Love and Non-violence, had threatened to blacken
both of his eyes if he ate any more food in my presence that made crunching sounds. He ate
incessantly, and I was appalled by his table manners. A couple of times I cooked, and we
took a picnic to the beach, but that was different. It was finger food and very quiet.
Besides, it wasn't just the sounds of his eating that bothered me.
Carlton got an earlier flight arranged for Monday morning. I, in contrition, apologized
for my outburst at Sunday night dinner at the Melting Pot. He nodded his acceptance of my
apology but ate cautiously and only brought his tongue out lizard-like once to lick
chocolate fondue off his spoon.
That night, after Carlton left, I dreamed I went to a clinic and my sexual organs were
being examined for disease by a machine that could pull them out slightly without pain or
damage.
The doctor looked at them through a magnifying glass. The doctor told me to get dressed
and wait for him in the next room. I dressed anxiously and went there to await his
diagnosis. In the waiting room were two boys and their bachelor father. The children had
headphones on and were facing a video screen. The boys were playing a game that was
actually a test. A white-coated technician gave instructions for the game, and if they
followed the instructions correctly, they could win. One child was winning and happy,
laughing out loud. The other child seemed confused and frustrated when he couldn't get the
joystick to move as he wished. I wanted to comfort him, so I leaned over and touched his
cheek. His father smiled at me and so did the boy.
I woke confused and decided that since I had Tuesday off from work (for Carlton's extended
visit), to call Sister Ova to see if she could help me sort out my life by "throwing
the bones." African divination, she said it was. I dialed her number: and began:
"Sister Ova?"
"Yes, yes," she answered. "Come right now LaShaunda. You got much happening
in yo' life today, girl."
Seated in the rosy comfort of Sister Ova's couch, I told her about the failed weekend with
Carlton and about my Dream.
She listened quietly, but when I finished she said, "that dream is for true!"
I almost spilled my herbal tea as I sputtered, "you mean my sex organs are
diseased?"
"No, no, girl, the doctor never tell you that in the dream. No, he send you to the
room for yo' cure. The man and boys, they need you girl."
Sister Ova was wacky. However, for $25.00 she would listen to me talk about myself for an
hour and then tell me interesting things about my life. Cheaper than therapy, and a lot
more fun. So I just raised one eyebrow and looked Sister Ova in the eye.
She made a hissing sound and said, "you can look, but the bones they tell you."
She had me hold the little white bones in my hands while she chanted. I never asked what
animal the smooth delicate bones came from, but always worried about it while I touched
them.
"You concentrate," she admonished me. So, I did. "Now," she said, and
I opened my palms and threw the bones onto the straw mat covering her dining room table.
"Yah!" she shouted. "Now I tell you. Love been comin' to yo' door six days
a week and you no answer. You gonna' have an accident, and that accident gonna' take you
right to love's door." She nodded. "You go. I chant at your wedding soon."
This was, without a doubt, the strangest reading she had ever given me. I drove home
feeling disturbed until I Remembered her saying, "love come to your door six days a
week and you no answer." I had to laugh about that. I mean, really? Where was love on
day seven? As I made the corner onto Langley Avenue, a child darted out in front of my
car. The only thing I could do to avoid him was drive up on the sidewalk. The kid didn't
even look back.
A tall, lanky black man came running from the house and into the yard where my car had
landed. As I opened my car door, his concerned face almost touched mine. Some warm
masculine cologne wafted like smelling salts through my daze. He asked if I was all right.
I was. I got out of the car and looked around for the little boy and saw him up the street
being tugged at by a small collie.
"The little boy," I gestured in the child's direction.
"I am sorry," said the man. "My son is deaf, and normally his collie helps
him cross streets, but she got caught inside the screen door somehow. Kids, what can you
do? My son and I have been alone since my wife Jean died, and maybe I'm too lax."
"You just have the one child?"
"Oh yes, I always wanted two sons, but. . . .it didn't happen.
My name is Tony Favors," he offered. "Why don't you have a seat on the porch
while I examine your car?" I nodded yes and asked if he was a mechanic.
"Oh no," he said. "I know a little about cars, but I'm a mailman. What's
your name? I probably deliver yours."
"LaShaunda Booth," I said with a smile.
"You're on my route," he said, "six days a week."
"Love, Six
Days" was originally published in Emerald Coast Review:
The Fifth Annual Collection. Eds Jesse Earle Bowden and Donna Freckman.
Pensacola, FL: West Florida Literary Federation, (1993) |
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