The McCoy Web of Evil:

How the Red Menace infiltrated the school system

I suppose you think that with the collapse of the Soviet Union, the communists had lost. You covered up the bomb shelter, tore down the air raid siren, and went about your business. But you didn't know that a seed had been planted in an innocent-looking, supposedly Catholic school - the seed of communism! That's right, the commies are back, in a new form. The McCoy High School Student Council!

In February of 1998, a government was formed. They were not elected. The members just 'showed up' and became the so-called Student Council. Who showed up, you ask? There were three main factions: communists, mongoloids, and skanks.

  • Communists: believers of nationwide equality and totalitarianism. Recognized by poorly maintained fatigues, chains, boots, and all types of patches. Often difficult to recognize because of disguise. "Plain-clothes commies," "Undercover Commies." May also hide under the ruse of anarchists or punks.

  • Mongoloids: small group of low-intelligence humanoids.

  • Skanks: large mass of chicks at McCoy. Send threatening letters to uprisers. Only deadly in swarm. Highly organized.
    • Keep in mind there are various combinations - skanky communists, communist mongoloids, skanky mongoloids, and even the rare skanky communist mongoloid!

    Now these people run the school with an iron fist. Refusing to listen to logic, they laugh in the face of those who would challenge their system of government. They organize a "Community Service Day," during which students of McCoy are expected to do menial labour for a small fee which they then pool communally. They charge students a $20 "Student Council" fee, and all the students get in return are poorly-made cookies once a year.

    Coincidence? I think not!
     USSR					 McCoy
-One party: CPSU			-One party: CPSC
 (Communist Party of the Soviet Union)	 (Communist Party of the 
					 Student Council)
-Suppression of democracy		-Suppression of democracy
-Government propaganda newspaper	-Student Council propaganda newspaper
 (Pravda)				 (McCoy Newsletter)
-Communist Party rallies		-Student Council Rallies 
					 (a.k.a. Prep Rallies)
-Official Colour: Red			-Official Colour: Red
-Goons used to threaten gov't critics	-Goons used to threaten Student 
					 Council critics
-Poor economic conditions		-Poor economic conditions
-5-year plans try to anticipate what    -2-semester plans try to anticipate 
 demands will be placed on economy	 what students will demand
-5-year plans go horribly awry		-2-semester plans go horribly awry

    I hardly endorse the below event or product