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( This is the introduction
to a novel I have
just completed and mailed
to my agent )
Introduction
She was twenty-five and already felt the changes within. A strong-willed
woman, she resisted them, refused to acquiesce. She had finished
college and now felt she must leave home, escape the environment in which
her fear hovered like some malevolent angel. And so she chose a new
name, transferred funds from her trust and rented a home, unencumbered
so she would have no burdens and could disappear into oblivion any time
she wished. She took her car. It was part of who she was, and
although it did not fit her new life, she ignored the dichotomy.
Only the old man next door took notice of it, and he was a private person,
alone with his own thoughts and memories.
At
times, even at her work, which she chose with great care, she felt the
changes lurking within her and used her inner strength to maintain her
equilibrium. Outside of work, she sought social outlets to defray
the fears, but loneliness was her constant companion. And so at last
she strove to find someone who would not care who she was, who she had
been or who she might become. Someone who would love her for who
she was at the moment, provide her with a haven and demand no more of her
than she could give. She felt the presence of this person as surely
as though he were reaching out to her, and so she searched, seeking him.
She would love him as much as she could allow herself, but always holding
back, for she could not afford to open her heart completely, and never
her mind, for she could not face what lay hidden there, lurking in the
darkness beneath. But she knew what was there and it terrified her,
so she fled, avoiding, never accepting, for to accept was to surrender,
and she would not. What she did not know, was that the cards of life
are seemingly dealt at random, and he, whom she sought, would have his
own agenda.
Copyright
8/01/99,
All
rights reserved
Links to other pages are on:
This site
11/12/99
Music - Liebestraum, Hans Liszt
