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for eight long years he made me laugh and smile calmed my fears and dried tears. I went to his house played nintendo or watched TV but that's not what he was doing, he was watching me. Through all my break-ups, he always seemed to care he held my hand, and with his he combed my hair I knew how he felt, he wanted more than a friend but how could I know, his obsession had no end? AND JUST SO HE KNOWS FOR A WHILE I WASN'T ALIVE BUT I WANT HIM TO HEAR ME SAY, KISS OFF...I SURVIVED!!! He came to church with me prayed like a good little boy all the while thinking of how he could use me as his toy He'd call me and we'd talk for hours we'd hang up he went and took cold showers. And then August second, 1997 he invited me over. he reviewed his plan, held his four-leaf clover When I got there I was upset, he told me it would be ok in an intimate moment I kissed him wanted to leave, but he made me stay. AND JUST SO HE KNOWS, FOR A WHILE I WASN'T ALIVE HE MAY HAVE STRIPPED ME OF MY PRIDE BUT IN THE END I SURVIVED I went to his room I looked up as he locked the door I panicked and I ran and he knocked me to the floor And then he RAPED me, and took all my self-worth I felt like such slime, under that pile of dirt. My mind rushed I lost track of time I remember every word and how he made the fault mine. I walked back home my lip bloody, shirt torn I wished I were dead, either that or never born. SO I MAY HAVE LOST THAT DAY AND FOR A WHILE I WASN'T ALIVE. BUT NOW I HAVE WON, BECAUSE I SURVIVED. SO HE BEAT ME IT DOES NOT MEAN I AM BEATEN HE HAS TO LIVE WITH WHAT HE DID SO I'M THE SURVIVOR AND HE IS MY VICTIM Mac like to be posted here, Mail me This site is where you can add your name to others who have survived childhood sexual abuseBreaking the Silence Comradery This site is where you can read other's stories of abuse and gain courage from them.Breaking the Silence Supported you through your trials inThe Rock of Support for all to see in The Wall Hope for Recovery who's only crime is trying to stay alive inNeal and Jesse of courage, tenasity, and ability to break the cycle against all odds in the amazing site called Ghostwolf 1-800-96-ABUSE |
