I am a Survivor


I am a rape survivor,
because I'm still alive
but I am still a victim
because I cannot die.

To die is to pass on
to eternal paridise
streets paves with gold,
and every thought is nice.

Am I a rape survivor
or a rape victim, am I?
because I re-live each moment,
cannot escape my cries.

Is he my victim
because he knows what he did
he can never feel good about himself
and he'll always be a kid.

Every day I remember
and every night, re-live
the feeling of hands
how they made my body give.

I have the mental scars
never shall I live
with perfect happiness
but like an invalid

I'll always be reminded
with "I just wanna fly"
but I have changed the words
to "Please can I just die?"

I'll always be a rape victim
or am I a survivor??
Am I freezing cold,
or standing in the fire?

Never will I feel an embrace
without a memory
or hold someone's hand
without thinking, "HE HELD ME"

I hear he has a girlfriend now
with the hands that hold her safe
he held me
and made me stay.

He cannot give back
the piece of me he took
I feel like I am naked
and forever he will look.

And every arm that grabs me
will remind me of his grab
and every man with strength
reminds me of the strength he had.

So am I a survivor
for every day I remember
the way that he held me
I'll be a victim forever.


Mac


The Healing Tunnel

Child Within

Invisible

Angering Tears

Cat's Keeper

At Night

He Doesnot Care

Someone

Monster's Shame

The Tightrope

Angel's Anger

Taking Flight

Soul's Cry

Daddy

Star Wish

Our Secret

To Be Free

Road to Recovery

Inner Child

My Prison

Letter to My Teachers

Disease of the Mind

Like a Thief

Hidden Pain

Blind Eye

Don't Fall

Doom

Silence

The Reaper

Into my Soul

When the Time Comes

Christmas

In Need Of

The Form

Did You Know?

The Face

The Reminders

Am I a Rape Survivor??

I am The Survivor

The Pheonix

Lessons

Black and Blue

I'm Just a little Girl

Is it ok for me to Tell

Nature's Healing

Prisoner

Butterfly

WHY?

My Life

Anger

Nightmares



If you have any Poems or writings you would
like to be posted here, Mail me

This site is where you can add your name to others
who have survived childhood sexual abuseBreaking the Silence Comradery

This site is where you can read other's stories of abuse
and gain courage from them.Breaking the Silence


Put the Name of the one who
Supported you through your trials inThe Rock of Support


Put your Abusers name on a Wall
for all to see in The Wall


This site has books, rescources and more
Hope for Recovery


Read about and help two brothers
who's only crime is trying to stay alive inNeal and Jesse


Read a survivor's amazing story
of courage, tenasity, and ability to
break the cycle against all odds
in the amazing site called Ghostwolf


Resources

Rape Crisis Line
1-800-96-ABUSE

Survivors Across America

Rape Crisis Center

Mending Ourselves

Online Phone Counciling





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